Day 35 | Grow up and let go. I have a memory from when I was 8 or 9. I remember feeling that I worked very hard to prepare a bunch of toys to sell in a garage sale my parents were having. At the end of the morning, the money was equally divided and to this day, I can recall the feeling that I deserved a larger share of the earnings for my contribution. Subsequently, I threw a pathetic temper tantrum which only stopped when I got what I wanted. Thinking back now, that memory is one of the most embarrassing moments I have but truthfully, sometimes I still feel and act like this when I don’t get what I want or feel I deserve. I have two takeaways from this memory I need to consider along my journey. 1) What I want is not always fair and I need to look for balance opposed to me demanding my way. I especially need to deal with these situations like an adult. 2) I need let some memories go. This story may seem silly, but to this day, when I think about it, I get embarrassed and feel a great deal of guilt. I need to let those feeling go and move on with life. I want to be different now so as long as I learn from it, I need to move on. Here are some embarrassing photos of me as a kid. I may look sweet but I had a bratty side for sure!

Day 35 | Grow up and let go. I have a memory from when I was 8 or 9. I remember feeling that I worked very hard to prepare a bunch of toys to sell in a garage sale my parents were having. At the end of the morning, the money was equally divided and to this day, I can recall the feeling that I deserved a larger share of the earnings for my contribution. Subsequently, I threw a pathetic temper tantrum which only stopped when I got what I wanted. Thinking back now, that memory is one of the most embarrassing moments I have but truthfully, sometimes I still feel and act like this when I don’t get what I want or feel I deserve. I have two takeaways from this memory I need to consider along my journey. 1) What I want is not always fair and I need to look for balance opposed to me demanding my way. I especially need to deal with these situations like an adult. 2) I need let some memories go. This story may seem silly, but to this day, when I think about it, I get embarrassed and feel a great deal of guilt. I need to let those feeling go and move on with life. I want to be different now so as long as I learn from it, I need to move on. Here are some embarrassing photos of me as a kid. I may look sweet but I had a bratty side for sure!

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Day 25 | Accept and love you for you. What a rollercoaster of a day. It’s mid afternoon and I have felt guilt, I’ve laughed, cried, experienced anger, been jealous, thrived in being super productive and even enjoyed a moment of incredible pride. Not too long ago I would have felt shame and embarrassment for feeling many of these emotions, but not today. For once in my life, I’m accepted who I am. Not as weaknesses but as my strengths. I’m an emotional person who deeply feels. I’m also a wildly analytical and rational human who likes planning and understanding the meaning of everything. I can be serious. I can be goofy. I can be sad and cry but also I can be happy and the life of a party. Sometimes I like to dress up, sometimes I prefer track pants. I love expensive wine and shots of cheap vodka. I am many things, all of which make me, me. Trying to be something I was not only ever held me back. There is nothing wrong with me. All I want now is to continue to explore who I am and learn how to best take advantage of my eclectic nature. God this feels good to say, even better to feel.

Day 25 | Accept and love you for you. What a rollercoaster of a day. It’s mid afternoon and I have felt guilt, I’ve laughed, cried, experienced anger, been jealous, thrived in being super productive and even enjoyed a moment of incredible pride. Not too long ago I would have felt shame and embarrassment for feeling many of these emotions, but not today. For once in my life, I’m accepted who I am. Not as weaknesses but as my strengths. I’m an emotional person who deeply feels. I’m also a wildly analytical and rational human who likes planning and understanding the meaning of everything. I can be serious. I can be goofy. I can be sad and cry but also I can be happy and the life of a party. Sometimes I like to dress up, sometimes I prefer track pants. I love expensive wine and shots of cheap vodka. I am many things, all of which make me, me. Trying to be something I was not only ever held me back. There is nothing wrong with me. All I want now is to continue to explore who I am and learn how to best take advantage of my eclectic nature. God this feels good to say, even better to feel.

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Day 22 | Don’t be bored actively. I mentioned this yesterday. I feel like boredom is the root of so much negativity. When I historically filled my free time with work, food, binge watching shows and countless hours of video games, I was allowing myself to be actively bored. Just filling time for the sake of killing time. Don’t get me wrong, nine of those activities are bad, and in fact, I think they can be very healthy but the problem is that I was doing them for the wrong reasons. I was using these as distractions. What I’ve realized is that you need to fill your time with things that make you happy, give you a sense of accomplishment or rewards you with a new experience. Don’t just fill your time to avoid being bored. Live. Explore. Learn. Tonight, I choose to live.

Day 22 | Don’t be bored actively. I mentioned this yesterday. I feel like boredom is the root of so much negativity. When I historically filled my free time with work, food, binge watching shows and countless hours of video games, I was allowing myself to be actively bored. Just filling time for the sake of killing time. Don’t get me wrong, nine of those activities are bad, and in fact, I think they can be very healthy but the problem is that I was doing them for the wrong reasons. I was using these as distractions. What I’ve realized is that you need to fill your time with things that make you happy, give you a sense of accomplishment or rewards you with a new experience. Don’t just fill your time to avoid being bored. Live. Explore. Learn. Tonight, I choose to live.

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Day 17 | Make the right choice. Today was a hard day. I’m now at a place where I can admit that without it breaking or regressing my progress. The other major difference is that I can recognize when I’m having a hard day and make the choice to change the direction of my thoughts. It sounds easy to simply make a choice to be happy but it’s something I had to learn. I am infinitely grateful that I have found the inner strength to make the right choice. Now, on to happier thoughts and more adventures.

Day 17 | Make the right choice. Today was a hard day. I’m now at a place where I can admit that without it breaking or regressing my progress. The other major difference is that I can recognize when I’m having a hard day and make the choice to change the direction of my thoughts. It sounds easy to simply make a choice to be happy but it’s something I had to learn. I am infinitely grateful that I have found the inner strength to make the right choice. Now, on to happier thoughts and more adventures.

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