Day 35 | Grow up and let go. I have a memory from when I was 8 or 9. I remember feeling that I worked very hard to prepare a bunch of toys to sell in a garage sale my parents were having. At the end of the morning, the money was equally divided and to this day, I can recall the feeling that I deserved a larger share of the earnings for my contribution. Subsequently, I threw a pathetic temper tantrum which only stopped when I got what I wanted. Thinking back now, that memory is one of the most embarrassing moments I have but truthfully, sometimes I still feel and act like this when I don’t get what I want or feel I deserve. I have two takeaways from this memory I need to consider along my journey. 1) What I want is not always fair and I need to look for balance opposed to me demanding my way. I especially need to deal with these situations like an adult. 2) I need let some memories go. This story may seem silly, but to this day, when I think about it, I get embarrassed and feel a great deal of guilt. I need to let those feeling go and move on with life. I want to be different now so as long as I learn from it, I need to move on. Here are some embarrassing photos of me as a kid. I may look sweet but I had a bratty side for sure!

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Day 25 | Accept and love you for you. What a rollercoaster of a day. It’s mid afternoon and I have felt guilt, I’ve laughed, cried, experienced anger, been jealous, thrived in being super productive and even enjoyed a moment of incredible pride. Not too long ago I would have felt shame and embarrassment for feeling many of these emotions, but not today. For once in my life, I’m accepted who I am. Not as weaknesses but as my strengths. I’m an emotional person who deeply feels. I’m also a wildly analytical and rational human who likes planning and understanding the meaning of everything. I can be serious. I can be goofy. I can be sad and cry but also I can be happy and the life of a party. Sometimes I like to dress up, sometimes I prefer track pants. I love expensive wine and shots of cheap vodka. I am many things, all of which make me, me. Trying to be something I was not only ever held me back. There is nothing wrong with me. All I want now is to continue to explore who I am and learn how to best take advantage of my eclectic nature. God this feels good to say, even better to feel.

Day 25 | Accept and love you for you. What a rollercoaster of a day. It’s mid afternoon and I have felt guilt, I’ve laughed, cried, experienced anger, been jealous, thrived in being super productive and even enjoyed a moment of incredible pride. Not too long ago I would have felt shame and embarrassment for feeling many of these emotions, but not today. For once in my life, I’m accepted who I am. Not as weaknesses but as my strengths. I’m an emotional person who deeply feels. I’m also a wildly analytical and rational human who likes planning and understanding the meaning of everything. I can be serious. I can be goofy. I can be sad and cry but also I can be happy and the life of a party. Sometimes I like to dress up, sometimes I prefer track pants. I love expensive wine and shots of cheap vodka. I am many things, all of which make me, me. Trying to be something I was not only ever held me back. There is nothing wrong with me. All I want now is to continue to explore who I am and learn how to best take advantage of my eclectic nature. God this feels good to say, even better to feel.

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Day 24 | Know your worth. There seems to be an unexpected consequence when finding happiness, being more confidant in who you are and while learning to love yourself. Not sure I saw this one coming. On the journey to finding myself, I seem to have discovered a new found respect for myself and now have higher expectations from life. When you are lost and feel worthless it’s impossible to realize that you should not settle and should always aspire for more. I can now see that I deserve the things that make me happy and I have the confidence to go get them. No matter how hard it may be. Throwback picture from my sales days.

Day 24 | Know your worth. There seems to be an unexpected consequence when finding happiness, being more confidant in who you are and while learning to love yourself. Not sure I saw this one coming. On the journey to finding myself, I seem to have discovered a new found respect for myself and now have higher expectations from life. When you are lost and feel worthless it’s impossible to realize that you should not settle and should always aspire for more. I can now see that I deserve the things that make me happy and I have the confidence to go get them. No matter how hard it may be. Throwback picture from my sales days.

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Day 20 | The journey should never be over. This is me reflecting after I woke up. Potentially vulnerable having not brushed my hair, put on an out fit or shaved, just having my coffee. Yesterday was an interesting one. I am honestly feeling like a different person. I woke up with a smile on my face and I went to bed with an even bigger smile. The difference from 20 days ago is shocking. My challenge now is to not stop the journey. It feels like I could take my new found happiness and just ride it out until the end of time but deep down I know, if I did that, I would not maintain all the good I have accomplished. I need to keep making the choice to be happy, keep doing things that push my limits and keep exploring what it means to be alive. Easy would be to sit back and enjoy, but I need to keep pushing now harder than ever.

Day 20 | The journey should never be over. This is me reflecting after I woke up. Potentially vulnerable having not brushed my hair, put on an out fit or shaved, just having my coffee. Yesterday was an interesting one. I am honestly feeling like a different person. I woke up with a smile on my face and I went to bed with an even bigger smile. The difference from 20 days ago is shocking. My challenge now is to not stop the journey. It feels like I could take my new found happiness and just ride it out until the end of time but deep down I know, if I did that, I would not maintain all the good I have accomplished. I need to keep making the choice to be happy, keep doing things that push my limits and keep exploring what it means to be alive. Easy would be to sit back and enjoy, but I need to keep pushing now harder than ever.

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Day 19 | Your Health Is Important. From mental health to physical health. Apparently a lot of health related things this week. I’m really happy with the progress of my diet, gym and mental health regiment. My only regret is that I let myself get to a place wheee I needed to work so hard to correct things so from now on I am going to take a more proactive approach to my health. I recently had 25 vials of blood take to run a long list of tests. I got the results today and had a doctor walk me through things. Overall, I thank keto for this, I’m a pretty healthy guy. There are some things to watch closely but nothing that can’t be prevented. I can’t believe I was nervous to get something like this done for so many years. Maybe I was afraid to find out something I did not want to know. Regardless, one more thing off my list that I don’t need to worry about and can proactively monitor to make sure my physical matches the positive mental state I’ve learned.

Day 19 | Your Health Is Important. From mental health to physical health. Apparently a lot of health related things this week. I’m really happy with the progress of my diet, gym and mental health regiment. My only regret is that I let myself get to a place wheee I needed to work so hard to correct things so from now on I am going to take a more proactive approach to my health. I recently had 25 vials of blood take to run a long list of tests. I got the results today and had a doctor walk me through things. Overall, I thank keto for this, I’m a pretty healthy guy. There are some things to watch closely but nothing that can’t be prevented. I can’t believe I was nervous to get something like this done for so many years. Maybe I was afraid to find out something I did not want to know. Regardless, one more thing off my list that I don’t need to worry about and can proactively monitor to make sure my physical matches the positive mental state I’ve learned.

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Day 18 | A day late because I could not quite find the words. I’m still not sure I have. Today is serious topic for me and follows some of my previous reflection. I have long suspected that I may have been living with ADHD my whole life. I am not ashamed of health issues but I have not taken steps to address them either. Over the past few decades, I have seen unbelievable progress towards how mental health issues are perceived and accepted in society. With this in mind, I want to, and need to, be open about my truth. As part of my journey, I have started asking for help when I need it because I can now acknowledge that I can’t fix everything on my own. Recently, I took the step of asking for help from a professional to work through some of my deeper challenges. I am so glad I did. She nearly immediately confirmed my suspicion about ADHD and put me on a plan to work through it. Obviously too soon to say there is a long term difference but I am starting to feel the benefits. I have not been this balanced since… well, maybe ever.

Day 18 | A day late because I could not quite find the words. I’m still not sure I have. Today is serious topic for me and follows some of my previous reflection. I have long suspected that I may have been living with ADHD my whole life. I am not ashamed of health issues but I have not taken steps to address them either. Over the past few decades, I have seen unbelievable progress towards how mental health issues are perceived and accepted in society. With this in mind, I want to, and need to, be open about my truth. As part of my journey, I have started asking for help when I need it because I can now acknowledge that I can’t fix everything on my own. Recently, I took the step of asking for help from a professional to work through some of my deeper challenges. I am so glad I did. She nearly immediately confirmed my suspicion about ADHD and put me on a plan to work through it. Obviously too soon to say there is a long term difference but I am starting to feel the benefits. I have not been this balanced since… well, maybe ever.

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Day 17 | Make the right choice. Today was a hard day. I’m now at a place where I can admit that without it breaking or regressing my progress. The other major difference is that I can recognize when I’m having a hard day and make the choice to change the direction of my thoughts. It sounds easy to simply make a choice to be happy but it’s something I had to learn. I am infinitely grateful that I have found the inner strength to make the right choice. Now, on to happier thoughts and more adventures.

Day 17 | Make the right choice. Today was a hard day. I’m now at a place where I can admit that without it breaking or regressing my progress. The other major difference is that I can recognize when I’m having a hard day and make the choice to change the direction of my thoughts. It sounds easy to simply make a choice to be happy but it’s something I had to learn. I am infinitely grateful that I have found the inner strength to make the right choice. Now, on to happier thoughts and more adventures.

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Day 15 | Say YES to life. On my journey, I have taken many steps so far and have many more planned. Tonight is a little experiment to see how far I’ve come. I write this before I venture out but I may post tomorrow depending on how things go. Here is my experiment: Tonight I say yes. Go with the flow. Don’t over think and have fun. Think about the movie “Yes Man”, but a little more responsible. St. Patty’s seems to be the perfect excuse for this little exercise. I say that now but may have a different opinion tomorrow. Hello green drinks. Hello good friends. Hello Port Elgin night life.

Day 15 | Say YES to life. On my journey, I have taken many steps so far and have many more planned. Tonight is a little experiment to see how far I’ve come. I write this before I venture out but I may post tomorrow depending on how things go. Here is my experiment: Tonight I say yes. Go with the flow. Don’t over think and have fun. Think about the movie “Yes Man”, but a little more responsible. St. Patty’s seems to be the perfect excuse for this little exercise. I say that now but may have a different opinion tomorrow. Hello green drinks. Hello good friends. Hello Port Elgin night life.

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Day 14 | Writing my future.

Day 14 | Writing my future.

Exciting day! I finally got my reMarkable 2! I am obsessed with writing in notepads. When I got back to Canada I found a huge box of old notebooks dating back to high school. Though I love notebooks, they are not practical with all…

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• Day 13 – Lucky 13 deserves something special and something I have never done before. I’ve always considered getting a tattoo but have not taken the plunge because I could never decide what meant enough to me to permanently mark it on my body. If my journey has taught me anything, it has reinforced how short life really is and that choosing happiness is a choice I need to make. This in my new, and first, tattoo of the chemical dopamine with a semicolon. It’s now on my wrist to constantly remind me that that though I need to acknowledge sadness and hard times, I need to choose my own joy and seek it out. Thanks @greathuron

• Day 13 – Lucky 13 deserves something special and something I have never done before. I’ve always considered getting a tattoo but have not taken the plunge because I could never decide what meant enough to me to permanently mark it on my body. If my journey has taught me anything, it has reinforced how short life really is and that choosing happiness is a choice I need to make. This in my new, and first, tattoo of the chemical dopamine with a semicolon. It’s now on my wrist to constantly remind me that that though I need to acknowledge sadness and hard times, I need to choose my own joy and seek it out. Thanks @greathuron

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