Tag: want

Day 35 | Grow up and let go. I have a memory from when I was 8 or 9. I remember feeling that I worked very hard to prepare a bunch of toys to sell in a garage sale my parents were having. At the end of the morning, the money was equally divided and to this day, I can recall the feeling that I deserved a larger share of the earnings for my contribution. Subsequently, I threw a pathetic temper tantrum which only stopped when I got what I wanted. Thinking back now, that memory is one of the most embarrassing moments I have but truthfully, sometimes I still feel and act like this when I don’t get what I want or feel I deserve. I have two takeaways from this memory I need to consider along my journey. 1) What I want is not always fair and I need to look for balance opposed to me demanding my way. I especially need to deal with these situations like an adult. 2) I need let some memories go. This story may seem silly, but to this day, when I think about it, I get embarrassed and feel a great deal of guilt. I need to let those feeling go and move on with life. I want to be different now so as long as I learn from it, I need to move on. Here are some embarrassing photos of me as a kid. I may look sweet but I had a bratty side for sure!

April 6, 2023
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Day 25 | Accept and love you for you. What a rollercoaster of a day. It’s mid afternoon and I have felt guilt, I’ve laughed, cried, experienced anger, been jealous, thrived in being super productive and even enjoyed a moment of incredible pride. Not too long ago I would have felt shame and embarrassment for feeling many of these emotions, but not today. For once in my life, I’m accepted who I am. Not as weaknesses but as my strengths. I’m an emotional person who deeply feels. I’m also a wildly analytical and rational human who likes planning and understanding the meaning of everything. I can be serious. I can be goofy. I can be sad and cry but also I can be happy and the life of a party. Sometimes I like to dress up, sometimes I prefer track pants. I love expensive wine and shots of cheap vodka. I am many things, all of which make me, me. Trying to be something I was not only ever held me back. There is nothing wrong with me. All I want now is to continue to explore who I am and learn how to best take advantage of my eclectic nature. God this feels good to say, even better to feel.

March 27, 2023
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Day 25 | Accept and love you for you. What a rollercoaster of a day. It’s mid afternoon and I have felt guilt, I’ve laughed, cried, experienced anger, been jealous, thrived in being super productive and even enjoyed a moment of incredible pride. Not too long ago I would have felt shame and embarrassment for feeling many of these emotions, but not today. For once in my life, I’m accepted who I am. Not as weaknesses but as my strengths. I’m an emotional person who deeply feels. I’m also a wildly analytical and rational human who likes planning and understanding the meaning of everything. I can be serious. I can be goofy. I can be sad and cry but also I can be happy and the life of a party. Sometimes I like to dress up, sometimes I prefer track pants. I love expensive wine and shots of cheap vodka. I am many things, all of which make me, me. Trying to be something I was not only ever held me back. There is nothing wrong with me. All I want now is to continue to explore who I am and learn how to best take advantage of my eclectic nature. God this feels good to say, even better to feel.

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Day 21 | Filling time with positivity and productivity. Came across this on my social media feed the other day and have been thinking about it a lot. I have always believed that having hobbies is a great way to keep focused, not get bored (which I believe is the root of much negativity) and find a sense of accomplishment in life. This list of 5 needed hobbies intrigues me. I don’t want to set myself up to fail by taking on too much but I feel this list can bring some great balance. So here is my list of hobbies. 1) I have a career that makes me money. 2) Between my diet, joining the gym and my love of long walks, I think I’m covered. 3) I’ve started writing again to push my creativity 4) I’m planning on doing some courses as part of my journey to build knowledge and 5) My daily activities and reflections are truly helping me evolve my mindset. Even though it was a random social media post, I feel like this post reinforces many of my plans.

March 23, 2023
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Day 21 | Filling time with positivity and productivity. Came across this on my social media feed the other day and have been thinking about it a lot. I have always believed that having hobbies is a great way to keep focused, not get bored (which I believe is the root of much negativity) and find a sense of accomplishment in life. This list of 5 needed hobbies intrigues me. I don’t want to set myself up to fail by taking on too much but I feel this list can bring some great balance. So here is my list of hobbies. 1) I have a career that makes me money. 2) Between my diet, joining the gym and my love of long walks, I think I’m covered. 3) I’ve started writing again to push my creativity 4) I’m planning on doing some courses as part of my journey to build knowledge and 5) My daily activities and reflections are truly helping me evolve my mindset. Even though it was a random social media post, I feel like this post reinforces many of my plans.

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Day 19 | Your Health Is Important. From mental health to physical health. Apparently a lot of health related things this week. I’m really happy with the progress of my diet, gym and mental health regiment. My only regret is that I let myself get to a place wheee I needed to work so hard to correct things so from now on I am going to take a more proactive approach to my health. I recently had 25 vials of blood take to run a long list of tests. I got the results today and had a doctor walk me through things. Overall, I thank keto for this, I’m a pretty healthy guy. There are some things to watch closely but nothing that can’t be prevented. I can’t believe I was nervous to get something like this done for so many years. Maybe I was afraid to find out something I did not want to know. Regardless, one more thing off my list that I don’t need to worry about and can proactively monitor to make sure my physical matches the positive mental state I’ve learned.

March 21, 2023
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Day 19 | Your Health Is Important. From mental health to physical health. Apparently a lot of health related things this week. I’m really happy with the progress of my diet, gym and mental health regiment. My only regret is that I let myself get to a place wheee I needed to work so hard to correct things so from now on I am going to take a more proactive approach to my health. I recently had 25 vials of blood take to run a long list of tests. I got the results today and had a doctor walk me through things. Overall, I thank keto for this, I’m a pretty healthy guy. There are some things to watch closely but nothing that can’t be prevented. I can’t believe I was nervous to get something like this done for so many years. Maybe I was afraid to find out something I did not want to know. Regardless, one more thing off my list that I don’t need to worry about and can proactively monitor to make sure my physical matches the positive mental state I’ve learned.

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Day 18 | A day late because I could not quite find the words. I’m still not sure I have. Today is serious topic for me and follows some of my previous reflection. I have long suspected that I may have been living with ADHD my whole life. I am not ashamed of health issues but I have not taken steps to address them either. Over the past few decades, I have seen unbelievable progress towards how mental health issues are perceived and accepted in society. With this in mind, I want to, and need to, be open about my truth. As part of my journey, I have started asking for help when I need it because I can now acknowledge that I can’t fix everything on my own. Recently, I took the step of asking for help from a professional to work through some of my deeper challenges. I am so glad I did. She nearly immediately confirmed my suspicion about ADHD and put me on a plan to work through it. Obviously too soon to say there is a long term difference but I am starting to feel the benefits. I have not been this balanced since… well, maybe ever.

March 21, 2023
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Day 18 | A day late because I could not quite find the words. I’m still not sure I have. Today is serious topic for me and follows some of my previous reflection. I have long suspected that I may have been living with ADHD my whole life. I am not ashamed of health issues but I have not taken steps to address them either. Over the past few decades, I have seen unbelievable progress towards how mental health issues are perceived and accepted in society. With this in mind, I want to, and need to, be open about my truth. As part of my journey, I have started asking for help when I need it because I can now acknowledge that I can’t fix everything on my own. Recently, I took the step of asking for help from a professional to work through some of my deeper challenges. I am so glad I did. She nearly immediately confirmed my suspicion about ADHD and put me on a plan to work through it. Obviously too soon to say there is a long term difference but I am starting to feel the benefits. I have not been this balanced since… well, maybe ever.

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Day 12 | Since coming back to Canada 7 months ago, i am equally proud and embarrassed to say that I have gone from 240 lbs to 180 lbs thanks to the shockingly enjoyable keto diet and the amazing support and cooking of my wonderful wife. Though feeling more attractive and healthy than I have in years, I have hit a wall in my weight loss and want to be more fit. So, time to join a gym. I hate the gym. I have not actively gone to a gym since I was a teenager, when I was swimming competitively. Time to change that. A month of a personal trainer to get me started. Thanks @learnfitstrength

March 14, 2023
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Day 12 | Since coming back to Canada 7 months ago, i am equally proud and embarrassed to say that I have gone from 240 lbs to 180 lbs thanks to the shockingly enjoyable keto diet and the amazing support and cooking of my wonderful wife. Though feeling more attractive and healthy than I have in years, I have hit a wall in my weight loss and want to be more fit. So, time to join a gym. I hate the gym. I have not actively gone to a gym since I was a teenager, when I was swimming competitively. Time to change that. A month of a personal trainer to get me started. Thanks @learnfitstrength

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