Day 39 | Choose to be awesome! The character Barney from the show How I Met Your Mother did a lot of things I would not emulate. However, his philosophy about choosing to be awesome is worth looking at. Sad? Choose to be awesome. Feel worthless? Feel awesome. Sick? Stop being sick and be awesome instead! Thought the last one is a bit extreme, the same way I can choose to be happy, I can choose to be awesome. Being awesome is not easy, but it is simple. Take chances on new experiences, engage in the world around you and remember what an amazing person you are and let your confidence shine. Make the choice to be awesome, because you already are. For those who have read my past couple of posts, it should be pretty obvious that this post is me trying to shake my head and refocus on good things.

Day 39 | Choose to be awesome! The character Barney from the show How I Met Your Mother did a lot of things I would not emulate. However, his philosophy about choosing to be awesome is worth looking at. Sad? Choose to be awesome….

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April 7 2023 | Instagram

Day 36 | Save the drama for your mama! It’s a dumb opening but I could not help myself. I define drama, for the sake of this post, as overly outward reactions or actions to external or internal situations and feelings that negatively impact…

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Day 35 | Grow up and let go. I have a memory from when I was 8 or 9. I remember feeling that I worked very hard to prepare a bunch of toys to sell in a garage sale my parents were having. At the end of the morning, the money was equally divided and to this day, I can recall the feeling that I deserved a larger share of the earnings for my contribution. Subsequently, I threw a pathetic temper tantrum which only stopped when I got what I wanted. Thinking back now, that memory is one of the most embarrassing moments I have but truthfully, sometimes I still feel and act like this when I don’t get what I want or feel I deserve. I have two takeaways from this memory I need to consider along my journey. 1) What I want is not always fair and I need to look for balance opposed to me demanding my way. I especially need to deal with these situations like an adult. 2) I need let some memories go. This story may seem silly, but to this day, when I think about it, I get embarrassed and feel a great deal of guilt. I need to let those feeling go and move on with life. I want to be different now so as long as I learn from it, I need to move on. Here are some embarrassing photos of me as a kid. I may look sweet but I had a bratty side for sure!

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Day 25 | Accept and love you for you. What a rollercoaster of a day. It’s mid afternoon and I have felt guilt, I’ve laughed, cried, experienced anger, been jealous, thrived in being super productive and even enjoyed a moment of incredible pride. Not too long ago I would have felt shame and embarrassment for feeling many of these emotions, but not today. For once in my life, I’m accepted who I am. Not as weaknesses but as my strengths. I’m an emotional person who deeply feels. I’m also a wildly analytical and rational human who likes planning and understanding the meaning of everything. I can be serious. I can be goofy. I can be sad and cry but also I can be happy and the life of a party. Sometimes I like to dress up, sometimes I prefer track pants. I love expensive wine and shots of cheap vodka. I am many things, all of which make me, me. Trying to be something I was not only ever held me back. There is nothing wrong with me. All I want now is to continue to explore who I am and learn how to best take advantage of my eclectic nature. God this feels good to say, even better to feel.

Day 25 | Accept and love you for you. What a rollercoaster of a day. It’s mid afternoon and I have felt guilt, I’ve laughed, cried, experienced anger, been jealous, thrived in being super productive and even enjoyed a moment of incredible pride. Not too long ago I would have felt shame and embarrassment for feeling many of these emotions, but not today. For once in my life, I’m accepted who I am. Not as weaknesses but as my strengths. I’m an emotional person who deeply feels. I’m also a wildly analytical and rational human who likes planning and understanding the meaning of everything. I can be serious. I can be goofy. I can be sad and cry but also I can be happy and the life of a party. Sometimes I like to dress up, sometimes I prefer track pants. I love expensive wine and shots of cheap vodka. I am many things, all of which make me, me. Trying to be something I was not only ever held me back. There is nothing wrong with me. All I want now is to continue to explore who I am and learn how to best take advantage of my eclectic nature. God this feels good to say, even better to feel.

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Day 24 | Know your worth. There seems to be an unexpected consequence when finding happiness, being more confidant in who you are and while learning to love yourself. Not sure I saw this one coming. On the journey to finding myself, I seem to have discovered a new found respect for myself and now have higher expectations from life. When you are lost and feel worthless it’s impossible to realize that you should not settle and should always aspire for more. I can now see that I deserve the things that make me happy and I have the confidence to go get them. No matter how hard it may be. Throwback picture from my sales days.

Day 24 | Know your worth. There seems to be an unexpected consequence when finding happiness, being more confidant in who you are and while learning to love yourself. Not sure I saw this one coming. On the journey to finding myself, I seem to have discovered a new found respect for myself and now have higher expectations from life. When you are lost and feel worthless it’s impossible to realize that you should not settle and should always aspire for more. I can now see that I deserve the things that make me happy and I have the confidence to go get them. No matter how hard it may be. Throwback picture from my sales days.

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Day 23 | Loneliness is not always being alone. It’s easy to surround yourself with people to fill time and be a distraction but it is hard to find people you truly connect with that fulfills the human need to be a part of a tribe. I am very grateful for the few with whom I have a true connection, both past and present. Without these people, true loneliness set in and I have to rely on my own company, which has not always been the most positive. As part of my journey, I need to prioritize maintaining the connection I have, rebuilding some I have lost and being open to new people coming into my life. A picture of a time I did not feel alone.

Day 23 | Loneliness is not always being alone. It’s easy to surround yourself with people to fill time and be a distraction but it is hard to find people you truly connect with that fulfills the human need to be a part of a tribe. I am very grateful for the few with whom I have a true connection, both past and present. Without these people, true loneliness set in and I have to rely on my own company, which has not always been the most positive. As part of my journey, I need to prioritize maintaining the connection I have, rebuilding some I have lost and being open to new people coming into my life. A picture of a time I did not feel alone.

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Day 22 | Don’t be bored actively. I mentioned this yesterday. I feel like boredom is the root of so much negativity. When I historically filled my free time with work, food, binge watching shows and countless hours of video games, I was allowing myself to be actively bored. Just filling time for the sake of killing time. Don’t get me wrong, nine of those activities are bad, and in fact, I think they can be very healthy but the problem is that I was doing them for the wrong reasons. I was using these as distractions. What I’ve realized is that you need to fill your time with things that make you happy, give you a sense of accomplishment or rewards you with a new experience. Don’t just fill your time to avoid being bored. Live. Explore. Learn. Tonight, I choose to live.

Day 22 | Don’t be bored actively. I mentioned this yesterday. I feel like boredom is the root of so much negativity. When I historically filled my free time with work, food, binge watching shows and countless hours of video games, I was allowing myself to be actively bored. Just filling time for the sake of killing time. Don’t get me wrong, nine of those activities are bad, and in fact, I think they can be very healthy but the problem is that I was doing them for the wrong reasons. I was using these as distractions. What I’ve realized is that you need to fill your time with things that make you happy, give you a sense of accomplishment or rewards you with a new experience. Don’t just fill your time to avoid being bored. Live. Explore. Learn. Tonight, I choose to live.

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Day 21 | Filling time with positivity and productivity. Came across this on my social media feed the other day and have been thinking about it a lot. I have always believed that having hobbies is a great way to keep focused, not get bored (which I believe is the root of much negativity) and find a sense of accomplishment in life. This list of 5 needed hobbies intrigues me. I don’t want to set myself up to fail by taking on too much but I feel this list can bring some great balance. So here is my list of hobbies. 1) I have a career that makes me money. 2) Between my diet, joining the gym and my love of long walks, I think I’m covered. 3) I’ve started writing again to push my creativity 4) I’m planning on doing some courses as part of my journey to build knowledge and 5) My daily activities and reflections are truly helping me evolve my mindset. Even though it was a random social media post, I feel like this post reinforces many of my plans.

Day 21 | Filling time with positivity and productivity. Came across this on my social media feed the other day and have been thinking about it a lot. I have always believed that having hobbies is a great way to keep focused, not get bored (which I believe is the root of much negativity) and find a sense of accomplishment in life. This list of 5 needed hobbies intrigues me. I don’t want to set myself up to fail by taking on too much but I feel this list can bring some great balance. So here is my list of hobbies. 1) I have a career that makes me money. 2) Between my diet, joining the gym and my love of long walks, I think I’m covered. 3) I’ve started writing again to push my creativity 4) I’m planning on doing some courses as part of my journey to build knowledge and 5) My daily activities and reflections are truly helping me evolve my mindset. Even though it was a random social media post, I feel like this post reinforces many of my plans.

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Day 18 | A day late because I could not quite find the words. I’m still not sure I have. Today is serious topic for me and follows some of my previous reflection. I have long suspected that I may have been living with ADHD my whole life. I am not ashamed of health issues but I have not taken steps to address them either. Over the past few decades, I have seen unbelievable progress towards how mental health issues are perceived and accepted in society. With this in mind, I want to, and need to, be open about my truth. As part of my journey, I have started asking for help when I need it because I can now acknowledge that I can’t fix everything on my own. Recently, I took the step of asking for help from a professional to work through some of my deeper challenges. I am so glad I did. She nearly immediately confirmed my suspicion about ADHD and put me on a plan to work through it. Obviously too soon to say there is a long term difference but I am starting to feel the benefits. I have not been this balanced since… well, maybe ever.

Day 18 | A day late because I could not quite find the words. I’m still not sure I have. Today is serious topic for me and follows some of my previous reflection. I have long suspected that I may have been living with ADHD my whole life. I am not ashamed of health issues but I have not taken steps to address them either. Over the past few decades, I have seen unbelievable progress towards how mental health issues are perceived and accepted in society. With this in mind, I want to, and need to, be open about my truth. As part of my journey, I have started asking for help when I need it because I can now acknowledge that I can’t fix everything on my own. Recently, I took the step of asking for help from a professional to work through some of my deeper challenges. I am so glad I did. She nearly immediately confirmed my suspicion about ADHD and put me on a plan to work through it. Obviously too soon to say there is a long term difference but I am starting to feel the benefits. I have not been this balanced since… well, maybe ever.

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Day 3 | A bit of setback today. I knew not every day would be easy. Regardless… The hardest parts of this journey are pushing myself out of my comfort zone and ticking to a plan. Posting daily on social media is a great example of one thing, representing both challenges. However, this is extra hard when I feel set back and unsuccessful for the day. So… to shake things up and refocus, I’m doing something simple to accomplish and move forward. A nice long walk on a cool winter night.

Day 3 | A bit of setback today. I knew not every day would be easy. Regardless… The hardest parts of this journey are pushing myself out of my comfort zone and ticking to a plan. Posting daily on social media is a great example of one thing, representing both challenges. However, this is extra hard when I feel set back and unsuccessful for the day. So… to shake things up and refocus, I’m doing something simple to accomplish and move forward. A nice long walk on a cool winter night.

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