Tag: feeling

April 8 2023 | Instagram

April 9, 2023
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Day 37 | You will fail. I am really trying to be optimistic along this journey but some days are much harder than others. I don’t know a worse feeling than that of failure. There are two types of failure I have come across….

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Day 35 | Grow up and let go. I have a memory from when I was 8 or 9. I remember feeling that I worked very hard to prepare a bunch of toys to sell in a garage sale my parents were having. At the end of the morning, the money was equally divided and to this day, I can recall the feeling that I deserved a larger share of the earnings for my contribution. Subsequently, I threw a pathetic temper tantrum which only stopped when I got what I wanted. Thinking back now, that memory is one of the most embarrassing moments I have but truthfully, sometimes I still feel and act like this when I don’t get what I want or feel I deserve. I have two takeaways from this memory I need to consider along my journey. 1) What I want is not always fair and I need to look for balance opposed to me demanding my way. I especially need to deal with these situations like an adult. 2) I need let some memories go. This story may seem silly, but to this day, when I think about it, I get embarrassed and feel a great deal of guilt. I need to let those feeling go and move on with life. I want to be different now so as long as I learn from it, I need to move on. Here are some embarrassing photos of me as a kid. I may look sweet but I had a bratty side for sure!

April 6, 2023
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Day 25 | Accept and love you for you. What a rollercoaster of a day. It’s mid afternoon and I have felt guilt, I’ve laughed, cried, experienced anger, been jealous, thrived in being super productive and even enjoyed a moment of incredible pride. Not too long ago I would have felt shame and embarrassment for feeling many of these emotions, but not today. For once in my life, I’m accepted who I am. Not as weaknesses but as my strengths. I’m an emotional person who deeply feels. I’m also a wildly analytical and rational human who likes planning and understanding the meaning of everything. I can be serious. I can be goofy. I can be sad and cry but also I can be happy and the life of a party. Sometimes I like to dress up, sometimes I prefer track pants. I love expensive wine and shots of cheap vodka. I am many things, all of which make me, me. Trying to be something I was not only ever held me back. There is nothing wrong with me. All I want now is to continue to explore who I am and learn how to best take advantage of my eclectic nature. God this feels good to say, even better to feel.

March 27, 2023
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Day 25 | Accept and love you for you. What a rollercoaster of a day. It’s mid afternoon and I have felt guilt, I’ve laughed, cried, experienced anger, been jealous, thrived in being super productive and even enjoyed a moment of incredible pride. Not too long ago I would have felt shame and embarrassment for feeling many of these emotions, but not today. For once in my life, I’m accepted who I am. Not as weaknesses but as my strengths. I’m an emotional person who deeply feels. I’m also a wildly analytical and rational human who likes planning and understanding the meaning of everything. I can be serious. I can be goofy. I can be sad and cry but also I can be happy and the life of a party. Sometimes I like to dress up, sometimes I prefer track pants. I love expensive wine and shots of cheap vodka. I am many things, all of which make me, me. Trying to be something I was not only ever held me back. There is nothing wrong with me. All I want now is to continue to explore who I am and learn how to best take advantage of my eclectic nature. God this feels good to say, even better to feel.

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Day 20 | The journey should never be over. This is me reflecting after I woke up. Potentially vulnerable having not brushed my hair, put on an out fit or shaved, just having my coffee. Yesterday was an interesting one. I am honestly feeling like a different person. I woke up with a smile on my face and I went to bed with an even bigger smile. The difference from 20 days ago is shocking. My challenge now is to not stop the journey. It feels like I could take my new found happiness and just ride it out until the end of time but deep down I know, if I did that, I would not maintain all the good I have accomplished. I need to keep making the choice to be happy, keep doing things that push my limits and keep exploring what it means to be alive. Easy would be to sit back and enjoy, but I need to keep pushing now harder than ever.

March 23, 2023
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Day 20 | The journey should never be over. This is me reflecting after I woke up. Potentially vulnerable having not brushed my hair, put on an out fit or shaved, just having my coffee. Yesterday was an interesting one. I am honestly feeling like a different person. I woke up with a smile on my face and I went to bed with an even bigger smile. The difference from 20 days ago is shocking. My challenge now is to not stop the journey. It feels like I could take my new found happiness and just ride it out until the end of time but deep down I know, if I did that, I would not maintain all the good I have accomplished. I need to keep making the choice to be happy, keep doing things that push my limits and keep exploring what it means to be alive. Easy would be to sit back and enjoy, but I need to keep pushing now harder than ever.

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Day 16 | Sing like you are in the shower. Another night out but this time doing something I know I already love. It’s karaoke night at Duffy’s Southampton. I’ve missed singing in public but am thrilled to have found this monthly activity. Nothing communicates thought, emotion and passion like music. This is my chance to flush any negativity, I may be feeling, out of my system. I’m thinking a little Green Day, Plain White Ts and Mark Cohen will suit this evening well.

March 19, 2023
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Day 16 | Sing like you are in the shower. Another night out but this time doing something I know I already love. It’s karaoke night at Duffy’s Southampton. I’ve missed singing in public but am thrilled to have found this monthly activity. Nothing communicates thought, emotion and passion like music. This is my chance to flush any negativity, I may be feeling, out of my system. I’m thinking a little Green Day, Plain White Ts and Mark Cohen will suit this evening well.

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Day 12 | Since coming back to Canada 7 months ago, i am equally proud and embarrassed to say that I have gone from 240 lbs to 180 lbs thanks to the shockingly enjoyable keto diet and the amazing support and cooking of my wonderful wife. Though feeling more attractive and healthy than I have in years, I have hit a wall in my weight loss and want to be more fit. So, time to join a gym. I hate the gym. I have not actively gone to a gym since I was a teenager, when I was swimming competitively. Time to change that. A month of a personal trainer to get me started. Thanks @learnfitstrength

March 14, 2023
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Day 12 | Since coming back to Canada 7 months ago, i am equally proud and embarrassed to say that I have gone from 240 lbs to 180 lbs thanks to the shockingly enjoyable keto diet and the amazing support and cooking of my wonderful wife. Though feeling more attractive and healthy than I have in years, I have hit a wall in my weight loss and want to be more fit. So, time to join a gym. I hate the gym. I have not actively gone to a gym since I was a teenager, when I was swimming competitively. Time to change that. A month of a personal trainer to get me started. Thanks @learnfitstrength

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