April 8 2023 | Instagram

Day 37 | You will fail. I am really trying to be optimistic along this journey but some days are much harder than others. I don’t know a worse feeling than that of failure. There are two types of failure I have come across….

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Day 35 | Grow up and let go. I have a memory from when I was 8 or 9. I remember feeling that I worked very hard to prepare a bunch of toys to sell in a garage sale my parents were having. At the end of the morning, the money was equally divided and to this day, I can recall the feeling that I deserved a larger share of the earnings for my contribution. Subsequently, I threw a pathetic temper tantrum which only stopped when I got what I wanted. Thinking back now, that memory is one of the most embarrassing moments I have but truthfully, sometimes I still feel and act like this when I don’t get what I want or feel I deserve. I have two takeaways from this memory I need to consider along my journey. 1) What I want is not always fair and I need to look for balance opposed to me demanding my way. I especially need to deal with these situations like an adult. 2) I need let some memories go. This story may seem silly, but to this day, when I think about it, I get embarrassed and feel a great deal of guilt. I need to let those feeling go and move on with life. I want to be different now so as long as I learn from it, I need to move on. Here are some embarrassing photos of me as a kid. I may look sweet but I had a bratty side for sure!

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Day 24 | Know your worth. There seems to be an unexpected consequence when finding happiness, being more confidant in who you are and while learning to love yourself. Not sure I saw this one coming. On the journey to finding myself, I seem to have discovered a new found respect for myself and now have higher expectations from life. When you are lost and feel worthless it’s impossible to realize that you should not settle and should always aspire for more. I can now see that I deserve the things that make me happy and I have the confidence to go get them. No matter how hard it may be. Throwback picture from my sales days.

Day 24 | Know your worth. There seems to be an unexpected consequence when finding happiness, being more confidant in who you are and while learning to love yourself. Not sure I saw this one coming. On the journey to finding myself, I seem to have discovered a new found respect for myself and now have higher expectations from life. When you are lost and feel worthless it’s impossible to realize that you should not settle and should always aspire for more. I can now see that I deserve the things that make me happy and I have the confidence to go get them. No matter how hard it may be. Throwback picture from my sales days.

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Day 23 | Loneliness is not always being alone. It’s easy to surround yourself with people to fill time and be a distraction but it is hard to find people you truly connect with that fulfills the human need to be a part of a tribe. I am very grateful for the few with whom I have a true connection, both past and present. Without these people, true loneliness set in and I have to rely on my own company, which has not always been the most positive. As part of my journey, I need to prioritize maintaining the connection I have, rebuilding some I have lost and being open to new people coming into my life. A picture of a time I did not feel alone.

Day 23 | Loneliness is not always being alone. It’s easy to surround yourself with people to fill time and be a distraction but it is hard to find people you truly connect with that fulfills the human need to be a part of a tribe. I am very grateful for the few with whom I have a true connection, both past and present. Without these people, true loneliness set in and I have to rely on my own company, which has not always been the most positive. As part of my journey, I need to prioritize maintaining the connection I have, rebuilding some I have lost and being open to new people coming into my life. A picture of a time I did not feel alone.

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Day 21 | Filling time with positivity and productivity. Came across this on my social media feed the other day and have been thinking about it a lot. I have always believed that having hobbies is a great way to keep focused, not get bored (which I believe is the root of much negativity) and find a sense of accomplishment in life. This list of 5 needed hobbies intrigues me. I don’t want to set myself up to fail by taking on too much but I feel this list can bring some great balance. So here is my list of hobbies. 1) I have a career that makes me money. 2) Between my diet, joining the gym and my love of long walks, I think I’m covered. 3) I’ve started writing again to push my creativity 4) I’m planning on doing some courses as part of my journey to build knowledge and 5) My daily activities and reflections are truly helping me evolve my mindset. Even though it was a random social media post, I feel like this post reinforces many of my plans.

Day 21 | Filling time with positivity and productivity. Came across this on my social media feed the other day and have been thinking about it a lot. I have always believed that having hobbies is a great way to keep focused, not get bored (which I believe is the root of much negativity) and find a sense of accomplishment in life. This list of 5 needed hobbies intrigues me. I don’t want to set myself up to fail by taking on too much but I feel this list can bring some great balance. So here is my list of hobbies. 1) I have a career that makes me money. 2) Between my diet, joining the gym and my love of long walks, I think I’m covered. 3) I’ve started writing again to push my creativity 4) I’m planning on doing some courses as part of my journey to build knowledge and 5) My daily activities and reflections are truly helping me evolve my mindset. Even though it was a random social media post, I feel like this post reinforces many of my plans.

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Day 20 | The journey should never be over. This is me reflecting after I woke up. Potentially vulnerable having not brushed my hair, put on an out fit or shaved, just having my coffee. Yesterday was an interesting one. I am honestly feeling like a different person. I woke up with a smile on my face and I went to bed with an even bigger smile. The difference from 20 days ago is shocking. My challenge now is to not stop the journey. It feels like I could take my new found happiness and just ride it out until the end of time but deep down I know, if I did that, I would not maintain all the good I have accomplished. I need to keep making the choice to be happy, keep doing things that push my limits and keep exploring what it means to be alive. Easy would be to sit back and enjoy, but I need to keep pushing now harder than ever.

Day 20 | The journey should never be over. This is me reflecting after I woke up. Potentially vulnerable having not brushed my hair, put on an out fit or shaved, just having my coffee. Yesterday was an interesting one. I am honestly feeling like a different person. I woke up with a smile on my face and I went to bed with an even bigger smile. The difference from 20 days ago is shocking. My challenge now is to not stop the journey. It feels like I could take my new found happiness and just ride it out until the end of time but deep down I know, if I did that, I would not maintain all the good I have accomplished. I need to keep making the choice to be happy, keep doing things that push my limits and keep exploring what it means to be alive. Easy would be to sit back and enjoy, but I need to keep pushing now harder than ever.

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Day 18 | A day late because I could not quite find the words. I’m still not sure I have. Today is serious topic for me and follows some of my previous reflection. I have long suspected that I may have been living with ADHD my whole life. I am not ashamed of health issues but I have not taken steps to address them either. Over the past few decades, I have seen unbelievable progress towards how mental health issues are perceived and accepted in society. With this in mind, I want to, and need to, be open about my truth. As part of my journey, I have started asking for help when I need it because I can now acknowledge that I can’t fix everything on my own. Recently, I took the step of asking for help from a professional to work through some of my deeper challenges. I am so glad I did. She nearly immediately confirmed my suspicion about ADHD and put me on a plan to work through it. Obviously too soon to say there is a long term difference but I am starting to feel the benefits. I have not been this balanced since… well, maybe ever.

Day 18 | A day late because I could not quite find the words. I’m still not sure I have. Today is serious topic for me and follows some of my previous reflection. I have long suspected that I may have been living with ADHD my whole life. I am not ashamed of health issues but I have not taken steps to address them either. Over the past few decades, I have seen unbelievable progress towards how mental health issues are perceived and accepted in society. With this in mind, I want to, and need to, be open about my truth. As part of my journey, I have started asking for help when I need it because I can now acknowledge that I can’t fix everything on my own. Recently, I took the step of asking for help from a professional to work through some of my deeper challenges. I am so glad I did. She nearly immediately confirmed my suspicion about ADHD and put me on a plan to work through it. Obviously too soon to say there is a long term difference but I am starting to feel the benefits. I have not been this balanced since… well, maybe ever.

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Day 15 | Say YES to life. On my journey, I have taken many steps so far and have many more planned. Tonight is a little experiment to see how far I’ve come. I write this before I venture out but I may post tomorrow depending on how things go. Here is my experiment: Tonight I say yes. Go with the flow. Don’t over think and have fun. Think about the movie “Yes Man”, but a little more responsible. St. Patty’s seems to be the perfect excuse for this little exercise. I say that now but may have a different opinion tomorrow. Hello green drinks. Hello good friends. Hello Port Elgin night life.

Day 15 | Say YES to life. On my journey, I have taken many steps so far and have many more planned. Tonight is a little experiment to see how far I’ve come. I write this before I venture out but I may post tomorrow depending on how things go. Here is my experiment: Tonight I say yes. Go with the flow. Don’t over think and have fun. Think about the movie “Yes Man”, but a little more responsible. St. Patty’s seems to be the perfect excuse for this little exercise. I say that now but may have a different opinion tomorrow. Hello green drinks. Hello good friends. Hello Port Elgin night life.

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• Day 13 – Lucky 13 deserves something special and something I have never done before. I’ve always considered getting a tattoo but have not taken the plunge because I could never decide what meant enough to me to permanently mark it on my body. If my journey has taught me anything, it has reinforced how short life really is and that choosing happiness is a choice I need to make. This in my new, and first, tattoo of the chemical dopamine with a semicolon. It’s now on my wrist to constantly remind me that that though I need to acknowledge sadness and hard times, I need to choose my own joy and seek it out. Thanks @greathuron

• Day 13 – Lucky 13 deserves something special and something I have never done before. I’ve always considered getting a tattoo but have not taken the plunge because I could never decide what meant enough to me to permanently mark it on my body. If my journey has taught me anything, it has reinforced how short life really is and that choosing happiness is a choice I need to make. This in my new, and first, tattoo of the chemical dopamine with a semicolon. It’s now on my wrist to constantly remind me that that though I need to acknowledge sadness and hard times, I need to choose my own joy and seek it out. Thanks @greathuron

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Day 8 | Friends. A day of reflection. I am incredibly grateful for everyone who has reached out to me with their support. I can promise you that there is no need to concern about my posts. However, sometimes in life, it feels like your journey is a lonely one but it’s been proven to me that I am not alone. This has been an important realization. In life, there are good times, bad times and a lot in between. I’ll admit that I have been living through challenging times but I refuse to let life beat me. I have been taking life one day at a time by focusing on making positive change every day. Though this journey, I already have a sense of self and accomplishment that I have not felt in years but know there is still a long road ahead. Knowing that there are people rooting for me pushes me to succeed even more and makes each step a little easier. Thank you.

Day 8 | Friends. A day of reflection. I am incredibly grateful for everyone who has reached out to me with their support. I can promise you that there is no need to concern about my posts. However, sometimes in life, it feels like your journey is a lonely one but it’s been proven to me that I am not alone. This has been an important realization. In life, there are good times, bad times and a lot in between. I’ll admit that I have been living through challenging times but I refuse to let life beat me. I have been taking life one day at a time by focusing on making positive change every day. Though this journey, I already have a sense of self and accomplishment that I have not felt in years but know there is still a long road ahead. Knowing that there are people rooting for me pushes me to succeed even more and makes each step a little easier. Thank you.

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