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Day 39 | Choose to be awesome! The character Barney from the show How I Met Your Mother did a lot of things I would not emulate. However, his philosophy about choosing to be awesome is worth looking at. Sad? Choose to be awesome. Feel worthless? Feel awesome. Sick? Stop being sick and be awesome instead! Thought the last one is a bit extreme, the same way I can choose to be happy, I can choose to be awesome. Being awesome is not easy, but it is simple. Take chances on new experiences, engage in the world around you and remember what an amazing person you are and let your confidence shine. Make the choice to be awesome, because you already are. For those who have read my past couple of posts, it should be pretty obvious that this post is me trying to shake my head and refocus on good things.

April 10, 2023
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Day 39 | Choose to be awesome! The character Barney from the show How I Met Your Mother did a lot of things I would not emulate. However, his philosophy about choosing to be awesome is worth looking at. Sad? Choose to be awesome….

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April 8 2023 | Instagram

April 9, 2023
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Day 37 | You will fail. I am really trying to be optimistic along this journey but some days are much harder than others. I don’t know a worse feeling than that of failure. There are two types of failure I have come across….

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April 7 2023 | Instagram

April 7, 2023
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Day 36 | Save the drama for your mama! It’s a dumb opening but I could not help myself. I define drama, for the sake of this post, as overly outward reactions or actions to external or internal situations and feelings that negatively impact…

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Day 35 | Grow up and let go. I have a memory from when I was 8 or 9. I remember feeling that I worked very hard to prepare a bunch of toys to sell in a garage sale my parents were having. At the end of the morning, the money was equally divided and to this day, I can recall the feeling that I deserved a larger share of the earnings for my contribution. Subsequently, I threw a pathetic temper tantrum which only stopped when I got what I wanted. Thinking back now, that memory is one of the most embarrassing moments I have but truthfully, sometimes I still feel and act like this when I don’t get what I want or feel I deserve. I have two takeaways from this memory I need to consider along my journey. 1) What I want is not always fair and I need to look for balance opposed to me demanding my way. I especially need to deal with these situations like an adult. 2) I need let some memories go. This story may seem silly, but to this day, when I think about it, I get embarrassed and feel a great deal of guilt. I need to let those feeling go and move on with life. I want to be different now so as long as I learn from it, I need to move on. Here are some embarrassing photos of me as a kid. I may look sweet but I had a bratty side for sure!

April 6, 2023
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Day 33 | Be respectfully selfish. When choosing to be happy and let the world take me in new and exciting directions, I have found a need to be more selfish when making decisions. Think about what will make me happy and what is important to me. Though I believe this to generally be a good thing, allowing me to live my best life by doing the things that are important to me, I have also learned that it is important to still be conscious of others in my selfishness. Being too selfish and only thinking of yourself, even with the best intentions, will push others away. Once again highlighted is the value of trying to find balance in life.

April 4, 2023
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Day 33 | Be respectfully selfish. When choosing to be happy and let the world take me in new and exciting directions, I have found a need to be more selfish when making decisions. Think about what will make me happy and what is important to me. Though I believe this to generally be a good thing, allowing me to live my best life by doing the things that are important to me, I have also learned that it is important to still be conscious of others in my selfishness. Being too selfish and only thinking of yourself, even with the best intentions, will push others away. Once again highlighted is the value of trying to find balance in life.

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Day 25 | Accept and love you for you. What a rollercoaster of a day. It’s mid afternoon and I have felt guilt, I’ve laughed, cried, experienced anger, been jealous, thrived in being super productive and even enjoyed a moment of incredible pride. Not too long ago I would have felt shame and embarrassment for feeling many of these emotions, but not today. For once in my life, I’m accepted who I am. Not as weaknesses but as my strengths. I’m an emotional person who deeply feels. I’m also a wildly analytical and rational human who likes planning and understanding the meaning of everything. I can be serious. I can be goofy. I can be sad and cry but also I can be happy and the life of a party. Sometimes I like to dress up, sometimes I prefer track pants. I love expensive wine and shots of cheap vodka. I am many things, all of which make me, me. Trying to be something I was not only ever held me back. There is nothing wrong with me. All I want now is to continue to explore who I am and learn how to best take advantage of my eclectic nature. God this feels good to say, even better to feel.

March 27, 2023
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Day 25 | Accept and love you for you. What a rollercoaster of a day. It’s mid afternoon and I have felt guilt, I’ve laughed, cried, experienced anger, been jealous, thrived in being super productive and even enjoyed a moment of incredible pride. Not too long ago I would have felt shame and embarrassment for feeling many of these emotions, but not today. For once in my life, I’m accepted who I am. Not as weaknesses but as my strengths. I’m an emotional person who deeply feels. I’m also a wildly analytical and rational human who likes planning and understanding the meaning of everything. I can be serious. I can be goofy. I can be sad and cry but also I can be happy and the life of a party. Sometimes I like to dress up, sometimes I prefer track pants. I love expensive wine and shots of cheap vodka. I am many things, all of which make me, me. Trying to be something I was not only ever held me back. There is nothing wrong with me. All I want now is to continue to explore who I am and learn how to best take advantage of my eclectic nature. God this feels good to say, even better to feel.

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Day 24 | Know your worth. There seems to be an unexpected consequence when finding happiness, being more confidant in who you are and while learning to love yourself. Not sure I saw this one coming. On the journey to finding myself, I seem to have discovered a new found respect for myself and now have higher expectations from life. When you are lost and feel worthless it’s impossible to realize that you should not settle and should always aspire for more. I can now see that I deserve the things that make me happy and I have the confidence to go get them. No matter how hard it may be. Throwback picture from my sales days.

March 26, 2023
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Day 24 | Know your worth. There seems to be an unexpected consequence when finding happiness, being more confidant in who you are and while learning to love yourself. Not sure I saw this one coming. On the journey to finding myself, I seem to have discovered a new found respect for myself and now have higher expectations from life. When you are lost and feel worthless it’s impossible to realize that you should not settle and should always aspire for more. I can now see that I deserve the things that make me happy and I have the confidence to go get them. No matter how hard it may be. Throwback picture from my sales days.

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Day 23 | Loneliness is not always being alone. It’s easy to surround yourself with people to fill time and be a distraction but it is hard to find people you truly connect with that fulfills the human need to be a part of a tribe. I am very grateful for the few with whom I have a true connection, both past and present. Without these people, true loneliness set in and I have to rely on my own company, which has not always been the most positive. As part of my journey, I need to prioritize maintaining the connection I have, rebuilding some I have lost and being open to new people coming into my life. A picture of a time I did not feel alone.

March 25, 2023
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Day 23 | Loneliness is not always being alone. It’s easy to surround yourself with people to fill time and be a distraction but it is hard to find people you truly connect with that fulfills the human need to be a part of a tribe. I am very grateful for the few with whom I have a true connection, both past and present. Without these people, true loneliness set in and I have to rely on my own company, which has not always been the most positive. As part of my journey, I need to prioritize maintaining the connection I have, rebuilding some I have lost and being open to new people coming into my life. A picture of a time I did not feel alone.

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Day 22 | Don’t be bored actively. I mentioned this yesterday. I feel like boredom is the root of so much negativity. When I historically filled my free time with work, food, binge watching shows and countless hours of video games, I was allowing myself to be actively bored. Just filling time for the sake of killing time. Don’t get me wrong, nine of those activities are bad, and in fact, I think they can be very healthy but the problem is that I was doing them for the wrong reasons. I was using these as distractions. What I’ve realized is that you need to fill your time with things that make you happy, give you a sense of accomplishment or rewards you with a new experience. Don’t just fill your time to avoid being bored. Live. Explore. Learn. Tonight, I choose to live.

March 25, 2023
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Day 22 | Don’t be bored actively. I mentioned this yesterday. I feel like boredom is the root of so much negativity. When I historically filled my free time with work, food, binge watching shows and countless hours of video games, I was allowing myself to be actively bored. Just filling time for the sake of killing time. Don’t get me wrong, nine of those activities are bad, and in fact, I think they can be very healthy but the problem is that I was doing them for the wrong reasons. I was using these as distractions. What I’ve realized is that you need to fill your time with things that make you happy, give you a sense of accomplishment or rewards you with a new experience. Don’t just fill your time to avoid being bored. Live. Explore. Learn. Tonight, I choose to live.

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